7 years

Sometimes I just get this overwhelming desire to write. I used to love writing, and in school when it's a requirement, well, I welcomed the assignments. I was good at it too. Perhaps it was my own biased opinion, but I always thought that I had a knack for using words, expressing myself, getting a point across. But I don't have to write anymore. And I don't usually have time to do it for fun. This tiny place here amongst the great vastness that is the world wide web is the only chance I get to put my creative juices to good use and most often, I don't seize the opportunity to sit down and type when I should. Life just tends to get in the way.
But not tonight. Tonight, my kids are vegging out while I make dinner. Carlos has been in meetings all day and still won't be home for a few hours.
It's been one of those days that while not horrible, it hasn't exactly been perfect. Neither kid napped this afternoon. This usually means that right about now they are losing it as I should be, leaving all of us counting down the minutes until the sun dips low enough for me to convince them that it's bed time....
No, today has not been perfect. But to my surprise they are holding it together. It could be all the food and snacks I keep throwing at them. Or perhaps the gods have decided to smile down upon me this evening, knowing that it is the second day in a row where I have been home all day with the kids and Carlos has had 12 hour obligations to tend to keeping him away. Whatever the reason for the nice behavior, I'll take it and avoid asking to many questions.
Today is a day where a dinnertime cocktail was eagerly anticipated. Today is also a day that I appreciate more than usual that I am not alone. No, I have this man in my life that helps keeps me grounded, and holds me accountable. He reminds me in his own ways that I am beautiful, and that he loves me more and more with every passing year.
7 years ago today I committed myself to him. I looked into his eyes and held my breath and he committed the same to me. It's been a bumpy 7 years. We've laughed, and cried, and yelled and screamed. We've loved, and  giggled and reveled in the beauty that is our two children. We've ached together and separately and we've infuriated one another. It's been 7 long years, and 7 short years all at the same time. But this man, this man that continually loves me despite my short comings, despite my temper, he makes it all worth it. As I hope and pray that I do for him.
Carlos, I love you and am blessed to have you as my one and only

***** Happy Anniversary*****

Brotherly Love

I'm sitting in the living room of my parents house. My brother is in town and it's a Wednesday morning. Normally Wednesday mornings consist of delivering my children to their respective child care and then heading home to work. I spend about 5 hours at the computer transcribing, blogging, video editing, etc. Then I head out to pick child up A, come home and await the arrival of child B. Wednesday's are not spent sitting around, drinking coffee, catching up with family. Few days are, unfortunately. But today is special. Today I've decided to postpone the work load for a few hours in order to just sit. Sit and love on my brother whom I get to see not nearly often enough.
Life is so much different than it was 10,12 years ago when we were both in high school, living at home, sharing a bathroom, and taking our time together for granted. I'm not missing those days but I greatly appreciate them. I enjoy where I am in life. I enjoy my husband and the commitment we have to one another in bad times and good. I enjoy my children and relish in the mundane day to day activities. I enjoy the grown up relationship I have with my parents. Yet I'm grateful that I can still "come home" when it's been a long week.
You couldn't have paid me to sit and chat deeply about religion, politics, and love with my either of my brothers when we were teenagers. This place we have come to, both individually and as siblings, amazes me in it's complexity and in it's simplicity.
He has this girlfriend, whom I adore. Being married at the ripe age of 21, long before either of my brothers were ever romantically involved with anyone, it's great to see that 7 years later they both are grown, both madly in love with amazing women, both living adult lives and finally being able to relate to me on that level.
We've all come a long way. I'm blessed, I realize that. So much of this blog centers around my adoration of my children, husband and family. But it's hard to focus on anything else when they are truly my life's biggest blessings.
I wish this amount of emotional respect and love on everyone. The chance to grow up with parents, siblings, a family that shows you love through their actions and through their words. What kind of world would this be if we spoke more love to one another? What would today's children be like if every parent turned off the tv, stopped folding laundry, and cooking dinner to hug their bored kid? What kind of world would this be if we made the effort to constantly tell each other how important they are to us.
I don't think I'd recognize this place if this is what it resembled. I suppose this must be what Heaven is like. A place, a feeling, a state of being drenched and cloaked in deep, meaningful, selfless love. At least, I sure hope it is.

Godiva Giveaway

No, I'm not doing a give away but Chicnsavvyreviews.net is and I'm hoping to win.

So much to do

With my kids napping (well one napping and one crying in hopes to be rescued from his crib) and the hubs out on a man date, I have this underlying urge to get up and be productive. I wanted to try making yogurt today. There are some clothes that need to be ironed and some that need folding, there's a kitchen that hasn't seen a broom in a week, and oh yea, it's probably a good time to take a shower considering it's 3:30.


I often find myself with no time to do anything, let alone take care of my personal hygiene. Moments like this are few and far between. Usually those few times that I do try to carve out 10 min. of uninterrupted me time, get inevitably interrupted.


Take Thursday for example. This is always a crazy day because after I drop the kids off at school, I have 2 hours of work that I do for my dad in his home, and then I'm off to West County for two Spanish tutoring gigs. As soon as the second gig ends, I race back to my neighborhood to retrieve my children with not even a minute to spare. It's always a packed crazy day and getting us ready and out the door is never without it's yelling, tears, frustrations, etc. This past Thursday topped the proverbial cake. We were at risk of running late, again, and had 10 minutes before we had to be in the car pulling out of the drive way. I still needed a quick shower. So with the kids nicely and quietly playing in their bedroom, I thought, "yes, here's my chance. It's now or never." As soon as the water came on I heard a "crash...*scream*...mami....*scream*!!!" I stuck my head out of the shower and opened the bathroom door to see into their room and to my horror saw their 4 foot tall dresser laying face down. I jumped out soaking wet, and ran into their room where I found B trapped underneath. I lifted up the dresser and assessed to make sure nothing was broken or bleeding.


Thank God the kid was fine. I should have grabbed her up and held her for like 10 min just cherishing her sweet and uninjured-self. However... I was so mad at her it was all I could do to keep myself from screaming. I had told her before I had gone into the shower, 3 times, not to climb on the drawers of her dresser. I had told her that the drawer could break, that she could get hurt, and that it was not safe. I had even handed her a stool to use to climb on to get whatever it was that she wanted, down. 3 times. 3 TIMES! And then the kid goes and does it anyways not only throwing clothes all over the room, but the potted plant that was on top was now on the floor and everything was covered in dirt!


Once I got her unpinned and the dresser back up and done yelling, I went back to the shower for like a minute and a half. I dressed, grabbed our stuff, shoved the crazies out the door and left the mess.


To my relief the mess was still there when we got home 7 hours later. There's nothing like coming home to dirt all over your carpets.

5 A.M

5am is early. If you don't often wake up at the crack of dawn, allow me to enlighten you... No one else is awake. Not your next door neighbor, nor the neighbor's dog. The birds are barely chirping and you can sure as hell believe the trash man hasn't made his rounds yet. However, in a small house in the north-central suburbs of St. Louis a young boy and his sleep deprived mother are out on their, what is now routinely, morning walk. OK I lied. There are other people up. About 3. That's how many other walkers I count daily when we pass through our 2 mile loop around the neighborhood. Note-they are all late/middle aged, probably menopausal, therefor female, and probably are only awake because their own bodies prefer it that way. I am by far the only one my age.with a kid.walking at that un-godly hour.

Why are we walking you ask? Well, R prefers getting his exercise in as the sun rises. He enjoys seeing it peak over the horizon and pop through the morning misty clouds. He enjoys watching the bunnies scurry away as they realize that morning is here and it's time to head back to the safety of their holes. He relishes in the quietness and peaceful aura of no cars, no street noises, no nothing. Just him and his stroller, breathing in the fresh undisturbed morning air.....

No really. We walk because for last 4 weeks he has been waking up at 5. He only is willing to sit in bed with me for 30 min. watching cartoons.  B and the hubs sleep till 7:30. Taking him on a walk is the only way to ensure quietness so that the other half of this family can get a decent nights sleep and is ready for their day. R takes his first nap at 9am (of course). I don't get one. So by 10am he's in great spirits and rested. I'm on my last leg. It's been a long 4 weeks...

(Dancing with my headphones at the end of our walk)

Photo Op

I mean who doesn't love an adorable 3 year old on a giant tortoise??

Music is In Our Bones

My family is musical. Anyone that knows us as family unit will tell you that. My dad began his influence with us early with singing, guitar playing, etc. My brothers both picked up and mastered the guitar while still in high school. They both are extremely talented and I wish I had their instrumental capabilities. They also both use their gifts on a regular basis through church, worship leading, performance venues, etc. I, on the other hand use my talent solely to entertain and put to sleep my cranky children.
Mondo, the older of the two recently raised  money to release his first, professionally recorded EP. I'm super proud of him as is anyone that knows of his love and passion for song writing and performing. The kids and I will often put "Bobo" on and jam out. (His music is not really classified as "jam" music, but when you're 3/1.5 it's all the same.)