Marriage and Pain

I feel like this past year has been inundated with painful relationships. A few years ago, I heard a story about a young married couple I knew that were separated. They had only been married a few years and already they were dealing with so much pain that they had to take some time apart to figure out what comes next. The most interesting thing I heard through that story was the comment a father of a friend made about the situation. He said "this seems weird right now, but in 10-15 years, half of the married people you know might very well be in a similar situation or even divorced." I processed that comment for a few days. I thought of all the married friends I have and tried to picture them divorced. I looked at my own marriage as well. I thought, "how does that happen? How do go from head over heels and 'soul mates' to then crying over your wrecked marriage and the mess that has become your life? How do you start over at 40? or 35? or 30?!" I couldn't fathom my marriage falling apart. I couldn't picture what would have to happen to make us conclude that apart is better than together.
And then a close friend started dealing with a separation, and then another and then another. It was a year of news that nobody wants to hear. And there was me. Trying to be supportive and encouraging and someone to just listen, while all the while, not getting any of it. I cried with these people, I held them while they coped with their breaking hearts. I vented to my husband about how spouses can treat each other so badly. (He warned me to cool the heck down or he was going to stop listening). I did what made the most sense to me and I just loved on them as much as I could. I don't know if it helped, I don't know if they even noticed it, but honestly it doesn't matter. The lesson that came out of all this was not how to be a supportive friend to someone dealing with a painful marriage, nor was it how to avoid one of my own. But what I discovered was this...
I still don't get it. I understand how people can make bad decisions, I understand that people are selfish and foolish. But I don't understand how they get there. How their brains make the decisions to stop communicating with their partner or to cheat on their partner or leave their partner. The areas between point a and point b remain a mystery to me. And that's ok. I should be happy that I don't get it. I should rejoice that my husband and I are surviving and enjoying marriage. I should be and am thankful that neither of us have been tempted to falter in our commitment or felt the need to tune out from each others needs and expectations. I'm thankful for him and pray that he is thankful for me. We respect one another and appreciate one another. This is what keeps us together. This is what held us close after the butterflies and honey moon stage wore off. Respect, Trust and Appreciation.