7 years

Sometimes I just get this overwhelming desire to write. I used to love writing, and in school when it's a requirement, well, I welcomed the assignments. I was good at it too. Perhaps it was my own biased opinion, but I always thought that I had a knack for using words, expressing myself, getting a point across. But I don't have to write anymore. And I don't usually have time to do it for fun. This tiny place here amongst the great vastness that is the world wide web is the only chance I get to put my creative juices to good use and most often, I don't seize the opportunity to sit down and type when I should. Life just tends to get in the way.
But not tonight. Tonight, my kids are vegging out while I make dinner. Carlos has been in meetings all day and still won't be home for a few hours.
It's been one of those days that while not horrible, it hasn't exactly been perfect. Neither kid napped this afternoon. This usually means that right about now they are losing it as I should be, leaving all of us counting down the minutes until the sun dips low enough for me to convince them that it's bed time....
No, today has not been perfect. But to my surprise they are holding it together. It could be all the food and snacks I keep throwing at them. Or perhaps the gods have decided to smile down upon me this evening, knowing that it is the second day in a row where I have been home all day with the kids and Carlos has had 12 hour obligations to tend to keeping him away. Whatever the reason for the nice behavior, I'll take it and avoid asking to many questions.
Today is a day where a dinnertime cocktail was eagerly anticipated. Today is also a day that I appreciate more than usual that I am not alone. No, I have this man in my life that helps keeps me grounded, and holds me accountable. He reminds me in his own ways that I am beautiful, and that he loves me more and more with every passing year.
7 years ago today I committed myself to him. I looked into his eyes and held my breath and he committed the same to me. It's been a bumpy 7 years. We've laughed, and cried, and yelled and screamed. We've loved, and  giggled and reveled in the beauty that is our two children. We've ached together and separately and we've infuriated one another. It's been 7 long years, and 7 short years all at the same time. But this man, this man that continually loves me despite my short comings, despite my temper, he makes it all worth it. As I hope and pray that I do for him.
Carlos, I love you and am blessed to have you as my one and only

***** Happy Anniversary*****

Brotherly Love

I'm sitting in the living room of my parents house. My brother is in town and it's a Wednesday morning. Normally Wednesday mornings consist of delivering my children to their respective child care and then heading home to work. I spend about 5 hours at the computer transcribing, blogging, video editing, etc. Then I head out to pick child up A, come home and await the arrival of child B. Wednesday's are not spent sitting around, drinking coffee, catching up with family. Few days are, unfortunately. But today is special. Today I've decided to postpone the work load for a few hours in order to just sit. Sit and love on my brother whom I get to see not nearly often enough.
Life is so much different than it was 10,12 years ago when we were both in high school, living at home, sharing a bathroom, and taking our time together for granted. I'm not missing those days but I greatly appreciate them. I enjoy where I am in life. I enjoy my husband and the commitment we have to one another in bad times and good. I enjoy my children and relish in the mundane day to day activities. I enjoy the grown up relationship I have with my parents. Yet I'm grateful that I can still "come home" when it's been a long week.
You couldn't have paid me to sit and chat deeply about religion, politics, and love with my either of my brothers when we were teenagers. This place we have come to, both individually and as siblings, amazes me in it's complexity and in it's simplicity.
He has this girlfriend, whom I adore. Being married at the ripe age of 21, long before either of my brothers were ever romantically involved with anyone, it's great to see that 7 years later they both are grown, both madly in love with amazing women, both living adult lives and finally being able to relate to me on that level.
We've all come a long way. I'm blessed, I realize that. So much of this blog centers around my adoration of my children, husband and family. But it's hard to focus on anything else when they are truly my life's biggest blessings.
I wish this amount of emotional respect and love on everyone. The chance to grow up with parents, siblings, a family that shows you love through their actions and through their words. What kind of world would this be if we spoke more love to one another? What would today's children be like if every parent turned off the tv, stopped folding laundry, and cooking dinner to hug their bored kid? What kind of world would this be if we made the effort to constantly tell each other how important they are to us.
I don't think I'd recognize this place if this is what it resembled. I suppose this must be what Heaven is like. A place, a feeling, a state of being drenched and cloaked in deep, meaningful, selfless love. At least, I sure hope it is.