I Love My Kids: part 1

If you haven't caught on by now then there's no hope for you. I've been thinking a lot lately about their emotional development. I've written before about their mental growth as they mature and learn new things. I think a lot of emphasis is put on helping our youngsters to be smart and intelligent. However lets talk a minute about the other part that really makes them who they are. (*warning, this may be long*)
I grew up with two incredible parents. They loved me unconditionally. They taught me right from wrong. They taught me responsibility at an early age. And they taught me how to find my own worth.
I have a problem with parents who focus on appearance. Let's be honest, it's not just parents. Any adult really. Beauty was always taught to me on the basis of my beauty in the Lord. God made me. Therefor I am beautiful. I rarely struggled with self image as an adolescent and even as an adult, I am secure in who I am physically. Do I try to look nice when I leave the house? Of course I do. This isn't redundant. If I was created by God, I should be expected to take care of myself and honor the body that I've been given. Regardless of my outer beauty, I am to present myself appropriately as to honor what I have.
But there is a line. We live in a society that pushes that line and continually crosses it by miles. We focus on looks, on money, and on appearance. It is what has become normal and expected in our society and it starts early. The influence we throw at kids is overwhelming. Why wouldn't they all grow up to want to spend tons of money on fancy things, wear makeup when they're 9, and look to plastic surgery in their teens? We tell little girls that princess' are role models. Fine clothes, expensive jewelry, pretty hair and perfect complexion (re: makeup) is BEAUTY. We tell boys they have to be macho. We give them army guys and knights to play with and then continue feeding the flames with images of warriors, strong athletes, etc. Is is really surprising that the suicide rate in children is higher now than it has ever been?
What happens to a 12 year old girl with a weight problem, who has never been told she's pretty, who has trouble making friends? She develops an eating disorder, becomes secluded, more distant. And that little boy who has never had natural athletic ability? All his classmates are joining the football team and laughing at him for preferring other, less popular hobbies. I'm just saying, it's no wonder. We are setting these kids up for failure.
The solution? I don't know. Can you keep your little girl away from all the Disney princess's? Probably not. And I don't think you need to. My child is surrounded by that kind of influence, and I'd be a fool to think I could protect her from it. If she wants to be a ballerina at her birthday, then ok. I will make that the best ballerina party anyone's ever seen. But at home in between the tutu's and pink cupcakes, I'm going to shower her in kisses and daily remind her how beautiful she is. Not only because lets face it, she's a doll, but because God created her unique and wonderful. She will grow up not finding her worth in the latest trends and fashions, but in a strong self image that directly relates back to being raised in a home that values who you are as a person, as a child of God, and not what you look like.
In 20 years when someone asks her how she is able to have such a positive outlook on who she is, and how she is able to be so comfortable with herself, she'll hopefully respond, "I know I'm beautiful, outside and in, regardless of what I'm wearing, regardless of what my hair and makeup look like. I'm beautiful because God made me who I am."